Tips for EMDR Therapists Holding Space in Divisive Times

Guest Blog Post by Susanna Kaufman

Lately, it has felt like the world is on fire. Natural disasters and political division send shock waves through our systems. Daily news headlines of national and international policy changes have profound impacts on people’s mental health. Healers are not immune. EMDR therapists, if you feel the impact of headlines on your life, you are not alone. It is challenging to hold space and connection for our clients when we are processing our own emotional activations and reactions.

As trauma therapists, many of us are particularly familiar with the human physiological stress response. Polyvagal theory can help us understand our nervous system – or stress response system. When humans perceive physical, emotional, or relational danger (even unconsciously) our innate stress response system is designed to protect us. This might involve sending us into our own versions of fight, flight, or freeze.

Information in the news cycle can have a real impact on our nervous systems as we understand how policy changes might convey real and/or perceived danger to ourselves, our loved ones, or our clients. While these stress responses are normal and often appropriate, it is important to find ways to regulate our nervous system to counterbalance the stress spikes in our nervous systems.

As therapists we feel an obligation to serve, but how do we continue to serve our clients when we feel activated ourselves?

Going back to basics can help. Here are a few practical reminders for calming the nervous system for EMDR therapists.

Use EMDR-based tools with yourself

Ask yourself: what Phase 2 resource would you benefit from?

Spend a few minutes doing the Butterfly Hug (Shapiro, p. 245).
Remind yourself of a needed resource or quality to call in, as in resource development and installation (RDI) (Shapiro, 2018, pp. 248-250).
Maybe your system is craving a visit to your own Safe/Calm Place (Shapiro, 2018, pp. 117-119 & pp. 246-248) or your own experience of the Light Stream (Shapiro, 2018, pp. 251-252).
Sometimes, we just need to get through a session, so bringing up our own Container to put aside ‘our stuff’ in order to tend to the client in front of us might be helpful (Murray, 2011, pp. 29-32).
Take a few minutes to ground yourself with the Four Elements exercise taken from EMDR Recent Traumatic Episode Protocol (R-TEP) (Shapiro, 2007, pp. 122-124).

Take care of your body

Move your body. Stretch your arms, flex your toes, move your neck from side to side, shake your hands. Our bodies are part of how we interact with the world. While the brain makes meaning out of our experiences, our bodies communicate information to the brain to inform that experience. Movement increases the body’s felt sense of space and ‘okayness’ and sends those signals to the brain. Moving and feeling our bodies helps move anxiety through and bring us back to the present moment.

Take a walk. As EMDR therapists, it is easy to see how movement through walking is a form of bilateral stimulation. Walking also provides a perspective shift and an opportunity to reset the mind.

Eat, sleep, and hydrate. These are no-brainer basics, but if you’re like me, these basics get put to the side in times of heightened stress and emotions. As we tell our clients, times of heightened activation are the perfect times to re-focus on getting enough sleep, getting healthy meals and drinking plenty of water, which helps stabilize cortisol levels.

Reconnect with your breath

Breathing really does take us ‘back to basics.’ Many of us likely advocate for breathing as a calming technique for our clients. Are you taking these moments to breathe for yourself?

Focusing on the breath provides an opportunity for the mind to anchor in the present moment, to notice the physical sensations of inhaling and exhaling. There are many forms of simple breathing exercises including box breathing, ujjayi breathing, and balloon breath.

Find your joy and kindness

Finding joy reminds us of our humanity despite the fires in the world. Hum your favorite tune to yourself, laugh out loud, watch cute pet videos, or dance to your favorite song. Activating the vocal cords activates your vagus nerve, which decreases stress and is self-soothing. You are creating a resonance within yourself.

Start a gratitude list or refresh your mindfulness practice. Slow down to savor the good things in life. Savoring and gratitude act as a way to remind your nervous system that calmness, connection, and hope are possible.

Practicing self-kindness also reminds us that we are human and worthy of compassion and care. Take a minute to massage yourself – maybe your shoulders are tight, or your head or hands need some attention. Maybe you need to put a hand on your heart and remind yourself: “You got this, you are enough.” Find a way to show yourself kindness.

Practice healthy digital habits

It is important to know what is happening in the world around us. But at what cost? Find a balance that works for you. Make your time catching up on the news a conscious choice when you are ready to consume it. Turn off unnecessary notifications and set a time limit for when you do decide to open social media or the news.

The current news media cycle uses shocking headlines to drag us in and keeps us hooked by shocking us repeatedly. Each ‘hit’ can trigger the body’s stress response, especially if we feel targeted. Social media platforms are designed to keep our attention glued for that next dopamine hit. Trust when your gut tells you ‘I’ve got the gist’ and turn it off until later.

Shutting off all screens and putting your phone in airplane mode for five minutes (or a whole evening) can feel liberating. A total digital break can help you reset, rest your eyes, make you feel more present and focused for those around you, and remind you what stillness is like.

Practicing boundaried digital habits can allow us the autonomy to consume news in ways that inform us, and move us to appropriate responding action in healthy ways rather than leading to overwhelm.

Nurture connections

Consult with your peers on how this time period is affecting them. Share the best practices and memes that get you through the day. Decompress and process with folks who understand what your situation is like. Give a family member or pet a hug. Allow your brain’s dopamine response system to be triggered by relational connection rather than digital feedback.

What about taking action?

Some folks may ask ‘what good is resting when there’s so much to do?’ They aren’t wrong. However, it is important to find ways to regulate your stress system first so that you can take appropriate action to advocate for yourself, your loved ones, and your clients. There is a difference between action taken from a place of fearful reaction, anxiety, and depletion and action taken from a clear grounded place of empowered choice.

As you find the ways to regulate yourself and calm your nervous system, know you are setting the stage for yourself to take calm, clear action:

Set aside a few minutes to reflect on your feelings and reactions to what is going on in the world by writing, journaling, or drawing.
Avoid dwelling on the things that you cannot control and focus your mental activity on what you can control: your response. When harmful decisions and policies are made beyond our control, we can still control how we respond and interact with those decisions.

Soothing our own stress response as therapists is just as important as helping our clients find relief. After all, there’s a reason behind the importance of the phrase “put your oxygen mask on first before attending to others.” Holding space for ourselves can help us hold space for and connect to our clients.

Susanna Kaufman, MA, compiles and edits EMDRIA’s Focal Point Blog while working toward full LPC licensure. She is an EMDR therapist and has provided therapy services in agency settings, counseling group practice, and hew own private practice, Light and Heart Therapy. Kaufman works at EMDRIA as a content specialist and believes in promoting an inclusive community with a compassionate focus.

References

10% Happier. (2023, Nov). Become an active operator of your nervous system – Deb Dana – Podcast Interview with Dan Harris. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S_8Z8LSLCM

10% Happier. (2024, May). How to regulate your nervous system for stress & anxiety – Peter Levine – Podcast Interview with Dan Harris. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCRVarlDAZY

Backman, I. (2022, March). Revealing communications between brain and body. Yale School of Medicine. https://medicine.yale.edu/news-article/revealing-communications-between-brain-and-body/

Clarke, J. (2023, Oct). Polyvagal theory: How our vagus nerve controls responses to our environment. VeryWellMind. https://www.verywellmind.com/polyvagal-theory-4588049

Clearly Clinical. (2024, Nov). Holding space in divisive times: Managing sociopolitical stress to prevent burnout and stay purposeful in therapy with Elizabeth Irias (Host) and Dr. Dain Kloner. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7ug6ZkNaYI&t=710s

Epstein, S. (2023). What does it mean to hold space? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-generations/202305/what-does-it-mean-to-hold-space

Hanson, K. (2022). Our social media addiction. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2022/11/our-social-media-addiction

McIlwain, K. (2023, Nov). Walking and EMDR: Grounding and empowering one step at a time. Missouri News. https://www.kbia.org/2023-11-03/walking-and-emdr-grounding-and-empowering-one-step-at-a-time

Murray, K. (2011). Clinical Q&A: Container. Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 5(1), 29–32. https://doi.org/10.1891/1933-3196.5.1.29

Neff, K. (n.d.) What is self-compassion? Webpage. https://self-compassion.org/what-is-self-compassion/#what-is-self-compassion

PESI, Inc. (2022, Jun). The skill of savoring: A polyvagal tool for ventral vagal regulation with Deb Dana. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP_7bhtELy8

Shapiro, E. (2007). Clinical Q&A: What is an effective self-soothing technique that I can teach my client to use at home when stressed? Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 1(2): 122-124. https://doi.org/10.1891/1933-3196.1.2.122

Shapiro, F. (2018, 2001, 1995). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures (3^rd ed.). New York, NY: The Guilford Press.

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Tips for EMDR Therapists Holding Space in Divisive Times