What integration actually felt like: A psychologist’s lived experience of dissociative identity disorder

A personal account following a psychologist navigating dissociative identity disorder who engages in EMDR therapy among other intensive trauma treatments and describes their understanding of integrative healing.

Article Abstract

“In my previous Psychiatric Services Personal Accounts column, “Multilayered,” I wrote about the lived reality of dissociation and the complexity of navigating identity and healing within dissociative identity disorder. Since that time, I have moved more deeply into the work. I have been undergoing intensive trauma treatment, including eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) and specialized parts work with a clinician experienced in ritual abuse. What has unfolded has challenged not only my internal experience but also my clinical understanding of integration itself.

Before describing that experience, I shall define the terms that often shape this conversation. Dissociative identity disorder is a trauma-related condition in which overwhelming experiences are not fully integrated into a cohesive sense of self. Instead, aspects of memory, emotion, and identity are organized into distinct dissociated self-states, often referred to as parts. Collectively, these parts are often described as a system. This language reflects the reality that these self-states do not exist in isolation. They interact with one another, influence one another, and function within an internal structure that developed to support survival.
Integration refers to the process of reducing dissociative barriers. It allows for increased communication, shared awareness, and access to experience across parts. Fusion refers to the coming together of parts into a unified experience of self in which the sense of separateness is no longer present.”

—Description from publisher

Article Access

Open Access

Fletcher, A. A. (2026). What integration actually felt like: A psychologist’s lived experience of dissociative identity disorder. Psychiatric Services. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ps.20260353

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Date
July 17, 2026

Creator(s)
Adrian A. Fletcher

Topics
Abuse/Neglect, Dissociation

Client Population
First Responders/Healthcare Workers

Extent
2 pages

Publisher
American Psychiatric Association

Rights
Copyright © 2026 by the American Psychiatric Association

APA Citation
Fletcher, A. A. (2026). What integration actually felt like: A psychologist's lived experience of dissociative identity disorder. Psychiatric Services. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ps.20260353

Audience
EMDR Therapists, Other Mental Health Professionals

Language
English

Content Type
Article

Access Type
External Resource, Open Access

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